What No One Wants to Hear

What No One Wants to Hear

Reuniting with old friends or acquaintances can be sometimes be fun, you get to share updates and see what your friends have been up to, you get to share your life’s triumphs, but it can also be overwhelming. There is a slew of questions that you often get asked when bumping into an old acquaintance or visiting friends that you haven’t seen in a while.  But sometimes there are uncomfortable questions that make you cringe and doubt your own self-worth when you compare your perceived status with others’. Questions that can make our minds run amuck with envy, pity, anger, sadness--pretty much any emotion to be named. Questions that make us question ourselves. “What have you been up to?” “What do you do for work now?” “Did you finish that degree?” “Are you prepared for retirement?” There are many forms these questions can take, and some of them may resonate in you with panic and apathy. Questions we all feel like we need the most perfect answer to and that we need to be prepared for. 

Are you ready for some truth? No one is 100% ready for everything in this life and if they tell you otherwise, they are bluffing.

As people, it is in our nature to want to have the perfect life, the perfect answer to questions, and seem like we have it all together. Perception is a funny thing, though. If we look at the highlights of someone else’s life, we don’t often consider the sacrifice, pain, and steps it took them to get there. Instead we fixate on the finished product and think that we would like that/should be there/should have that, etc. It is easy to forget what that person may have gone through to get to that highlight. It can be anything from a vacation to graduating with a degree. There are circumstances that may have been a privilege for that person that you do not have or vice versa, but it’s what we do with that, that makes a difference. We can choose how it impacts us and what we do with it. How we perceive others and ourselves can impact our future. We can choose to be envious of others, or we can choose to work harder and do more for our own goals.

Once we choose to better ourselves, we can channel that energy into being productive. To help yourself, ask yourself similar questions that help define what you are working to attain. Is it a new job? A new house? A vacation? Stability? There are a lot of possibilities but knowing what motivates you is to your advantage. Ask yourself what you are willing to sacrifice to achieve that goal and the amount of time it will take to get there. Are you dedicated to the goal? Are you disciplined? Are you ‘hungry’ for it? Make your goals attainable and understand that there will be setbacks and failures, and these are all part of the process. Do things in your life that make you proud, whether someone else is looking or not. Support others and be honest when they ask how you are doing: life is not a highlight reel that we need to put on display for others. It is ok to struggle, to have emotions, and to need help. By being your authentic self, you may empower others. Your goal is a journey, be ready for it.

Heidi Leik is a totally cool person and a Creageless contributor. To be alerted when new articles come out simply join today by clicking on this obnoxious green banner. If you have a suggestion for an article or would like to submit one of you own just email us at Creageless@gmail.com